The Lord's Directives to Parents

 

In my last post, I wrote about the Lord’s perspective on children. They are His gift and reward to us, and the more we can reasonably have and care for, the greater the blessing we will enjoy. The Lord is into marriage, and He is into raising children. It is how we pass on the light of the Gospel to the next generation. The next question that arises is, how do we raise godly children?

Continuing on in Ephesians, Paul addresses the children/parent relationship. He states, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with promise: ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph 6:1-4) We see three different directives in this passage. The first directive is to children, but parents have something to learn from it as well. First, we see that it is the Lord’s expectation that children obey and honor their parents. If so, then this means the parents are the ones solely responsible for them. It is a prevailing thought today that children belong to the collective whole or even to the State, but this flies directly in the face of the Scriptures and the Lord’s plan for family life. It does NOT take a village to raise a child (just saying). If we recall, they are a gift or a possession from the Lord, so according to the Scriptures, our children belong to us, given to us by God Himself.  Yes, children need to respect and obey other authority figures, but from the Scriptures we can see that Mom and Dad have the final say.

Second, if the Lord says that children are to obey and honor their parents, it is the parents’ job to instill this into them. Solomon told his own sons, “My son, keep your father’s command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart; tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life.” (Pro 6:20-23) The importance of obedience, including that of children to their parents, is stressed all throughout the Scriptures. It is not for acceptance into the kingdom of God, but because we are already part of the Kingdom through faith in Jesus Christ. So too, children are born into our family, and nothing can change this, no matter how they behave. However, because they have been given to us, and because we love them, we teach them right and wrong so that they can live a long and prosperous life. For parents to neglect this responsibility is to rob them of these blessings. Naturally, our children are not always on board with this idea of obedience, so it is up to us as parents to administer appropriate consequences with the goal of changing their minds. The Bible has a lot to say on child discipline as well, but that is another topic for another post. If you are a parent, I would highly recommend reading through and studying the book of Proverbs; it is full of wisdom for parents in raising children.

I also want to take the time to address family dynamics as it relates to raising children. I have seen members in my own family, as well as in others’ fight against the parents in training their own children. Unfortunately, others interfering with someone else’s parenting can place a strain on family relations, stress marriages, and negatively affect the children as I have personally witnessed. Children learn pretty quickly when Grandpa and Grandma or another family member will side with them over their own parents. If we are raising children, we should not allow others to undermine our parental authority, especially in front of our children. It is our God-given responsibility to raise them in the ways of the Lord, so we can confidently stand on what the Word says. Now, none of us are perfect, and as parents we make mistakes. Because of this, we should be open to constructive criticism or correction when necessary. However, if we find ourselves on the other side of this coin, our advice and correction should be prayerfully considered and wisely given in a way that will not undermine what the parents are trying to accomplish. If we disagree with someone else’s parenting, we are apt to do more harm than good by interfering unless it is just blatantly harmful or sinful for the child. I remember as a kid complaining to my grandparents about my own parents, but they would not entertain it. If anything, they defended my parents and encouraged me to obey and respect them. Looking back, I am thankful for that, for it made me a better man. In my next post, I hope to cover the Lord’s directives to dads.