Christian VS Cult - How Do You know the Difference?

There are many sects out there who claim to be Christian and use the Bible alongside their other writings, but are they really Christian?  If not, how do we know?  How can we distinguish between true Christianity and those who merely say they are Christian?  If you compare their belief systems to Biblical Christianity there will certainly be many differences and contradictions, but I would like to take the time to focus on what I believe are the two most common and most important ones.  Every other false or heretical teaching will stem from these two main issues.

The first one I would like to discuss is the person of Jesus Christ.  Every pseudo-Christian sect (otherwise known as a cult) will attack the person of Jesus Christ.  In New Testament times it was the Gnostics who attempted to take away from Jesus’ humanity: Since the body was evil, Jesus could not have literally come in the flesh.  This belief has some major problems: For if Jesus did not come in the flesh, it would not be possible for Him to be the Great High Priest that identifies with your and my weaknesses (see Hebrews 4:15-5:10).  Furthermore, if He did not have a literal physical body, He would have no blood to shed for our sins, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness for sins (Hebrews 9:22).

The other way in which cults attack the person of Jesus Christ is in His deity.  We see this most commonly today with Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses.  The Mormons believe Jesus was a pro-created spirit being of the Mormon God.  According to their theology, the Mormon God asked his two sons (Jesus and Lucifer) for their plans to populate Earth.  Jesus’ plan was chosen and Lucifer rebelled.  Also among their beliefs is the idea that a good Mormon can achieve godhood, thus showing their complete lack of understanding of who God really is.  The Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that Jesus was a created angelic being, and was the physical manifestation of Michael the archangel.  Even Ellen G White and the Seventh Day Adventists hold a similar view of Jesus in that they believe that the Old Testament manifestation of Michael the archangel was the pre-incarnate Christ.  Although the Adventists  claim to uphold the deity of Jesus Christ, a close examination of Ellen G White’s writings as well as others in the movement were Arian in nature.  Rather than believing that Jesus was God from all eternity, they believe He was created by God the Father, and then God created other things through Him.  These beliefs have some major problems as well.  If Jesus was a created being, then He cannot be God, and if He is not God then He could not have been the perfect offering for our sins.

So how does the Bible describe the Lord?  First, there is only one God.  Consider the words of Isaiah the prophet, “Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me.” (Isaiah 43:10) So much for the Mormon belief of achieving godhood…  Next, He reveals Himself in three distinct yet inseparable persons.  One of the greatest passages proving this is in the book of Isaiah.  You are probably familiar with this passage that is popular around Christmas time: “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6) Here in one verse we have the entire trinity: We have the Everlasting Father, the Son, and the Counselor (the Holy Spirit).  Again, these are all names that are being given to Jesus Christ who is the Messiah.  It is a compound unity: the Father is in the Son, the Son is in the Father, the Spirit is in them, and they in the Spirit.  Jesus stated in the Gospel of John, “Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.” (John 14:11) He stated also, “I and my Father are one.” (John 10:30) Also in the book of John, Jesus refers to Himself as the Holy Spirit.  He states that the Father will send the Comforter (holy Spirit) to them (John 14:16-17).  He then states, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” (V18) The Father and the Son dwell in us through the person of the Holy Spirit (John 14:23).  So again, They have three distinct roles, but They are inseparable from one another.

Next, the Bible refers to Jesus as God.  Consider the following Scriptures: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  The same was in the beginning with God.  All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” (John 1:1-3) So Jesus in the beginning was with God, He was God, and He made all things (He was not created).  “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. (John 1:14) So John nails it right there in the first chapter of his Gospel, Jesus is both fully man and fully God.  We see in Hebrews that God the Father is calling Jesus God and attributing Him with the creation of all things: “But unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom.  Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.  And, Thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth; and the heavens are the works of thine hands.” (Hebrews 1:8-10) Jesus also in several passages referred to Himself as God.  Probably the most notable is in John 8: Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees, and they asked Him how it was possible that He had seen Abraham.  His response to them was, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.” (John 8:58) Jesus took the same name for Himself as the Lord did at the burning bush in Exodus.  So then Jesus is Jehovah God!  Now the Jehovah’s Witnesses also teach that Jesus did not physically rise from the dead, but that it was just his spirit.  However, when Jesus appeared to the 11 apostles as recorded in Luke He stated to them, “Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have. (Luke 24:39) So then, Jesus literally and physically rose from the dead.  Furthermore, the Bible encourages worship of Jesus which would be strictly forbidden if He was an angel or other created being.  The author of Hebrews also writes, “Being made so much better than the angels, as he hath by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they.  For unto which of the angels said he at any time, Thou art my Son, this day have I begotten thee? And again, I will be to him a Father, and he shall be to me a Son?  And again, when he bringeth in the firstbegotten into the world, he saith, And let all the angels of God worship him.” (Hebrews 1:4-6) So as we can see, it is imperative that we believe in a Jesus that is both fully man and fully God; for anything less will leave us worshiping a false god that cannot save us from our sins.  To not accept the Jesus who is fully man and fully God requires a person to either blatantly misinterpret the Scriptures or change them altogether.  No doubt this is what many such as the Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and other groups do in addition to their own external writings in order to justify their positions.

The second thing cults will do is diminish the grace of God.  Being saved by grace through faith alone is not enough for them.  According to them we must have faith in Jesus (whatever their version of Jesus is) plus good works and other religious rituals in order to receive eternal life.  Now when you talk to individuals involved in a cult they often will attempt to conceal this at first, but as you begin to question them further it eventually comes out.  So what does the Bible say about this?  Do we need to do anything to be saved other than placing our faith in the Jesus Christ of the Bible?  Paul, in speaking of Abraham in the book of Romans, stated that he believed God and it was counted to him for righteousness.  If Abraham was justified by his works, he would have had something to boast about, but not before the Lord.  He explained that those who work for salvation will still end up in debt (Romans 4:1-5).  It is impossible to Keep God’s Law.  We have all broken God’s Law (the 10 Commandments), and thereby deserve God’s wrath.  The Law works wrath (V 15) in that it can only reveal our sinful state, our pending judgment, and prepare our hearts for the grace of God.  Our only hope is to believe on Jesus Christ for salvation.  Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Just before Jesus died he stated “It is finished,” so for someone to say that we need to believe in Jesus plus anything else is saying that what He did on the cross was not enough.  This is really blasphemy: What kind of loving God would send His only Begotten Son to be brutally tortured, to shed His own blood, and die for our sins only to have it not be enough to save you and me?  We cannot obtain salvation by our works, and we cannot keep it by our works.  The only thing we must do is continue in the grace of God.  Contrary to what some may say, this doesn’t produce loose living, but out of gratitude we have a desire to walk in obedience to the Lord.  Furthermore, the Holy Spirit of God dwells inside of the believer, and you will no longer be satisfied living any way you choose.  A person truly born again is miserable when they are walking in sin.  So if a person is wrong in their belief in the person of Jesus Christ and in salvation by grace through faith, they cannot be a Christian.  As I stated earlier, all the other errors we may find in cults will stem from these two.  In fact, in my discussions with Mormons, debating all the other false teachings they have is often a waste of time.  Once they have accepted the Jesus of the Bible and God’s plan of salvation, then they will be willing to discard their other false teachings.

I felt impressed by the Lord to include one other section in this post regarding Pentecostals or Charismatics.  Right out of the gate I do want to make it clear that I fully believe in the moving of the Holy Spirit in the Church today, and I believe a clear case can be made in the Scriptures to support this.  However, that is another topic in itself that I don’t intend on focusing on here.  Having grown up in a Pentecostal denomination and being around different circles in that movement, I have witnessed some things that were not of the Lord.  The tendency in some of these circles is to have an attitude that anything goes, and if you attempt to suggest some sort of order you are quenching the Holy Spirit.  It becomes all about the next spiritual high, and really becomes a self-centered thing rather than glorifying the Lord.  I have even witnessed some in this movement go completely off the deep end and become involved in occultic practices.  I heard a Calvary Chapel pastor say once that we need to be charismatics with a safety belt.  This safety belt of course is the Word of God.  If we cannot find it directly stated or implied in the Word of God, we need to stay away from it.  Jesus Himself gave us a good litmus test in determining whether or not the Holy Spirit is really in a particular movement.  He stated, “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.  He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you.” (John 16:13-14) First, the job of the Holy Spirit is to guide us into all truth.  He will do nothing outside the confines of the Scriptures, but is directly involved in teaching us the Word of God.  Second, He does not speak of Himself, but what He hears from Jesus.  And who is Jesus?  He is the Word.  I have to question these movements who are placing the major emphasis on the Holy Spirit.  Third, He glorifies Jesus.  His job is to lift up Jesus Christ so all men will be drawn unto Him.  So a true move of the Holy Spirit will be characterized by glorifying Jesus Christ and teaching the Word of God.  The gifts of the Spirit are given to aid men and women in coming to Christ, to confirm the Word being preached, and to edify us as believers.  So in seeking out a good Church be sure you find one that is open to the moving of the Holy Spirit, but is ordered by the Word of God.

In closing, I hope this post has been an encouragement to you, and hopefully it will help you in distinguishing between true Biblical Christianity and one that only claims to be Christian.  This does not mean that people in a cult are our enemies, but they are deceived and need to come to saving faith in Jesus Christ.  Share the Gospel with them: Explain to them that they have broken God’s law, and there is no way they can meet God’s righteous and holy standards.  Tell them about the Jesus of the Bible, and how that God proved His love for them by sending Him to die in our place.  Explain to them that it is only through the grace of God through faith in this Jesus that they can be saved.  If you are a Christian, God has graciously saved you, and hopefully by sharing the truth with them they will be saved as well.

 

References

 

http://alwaysbeready.com/jehovahs-witnesses?id=118#jworigin

 

http://ericbarger.com/articles/morminism_christ_or_cult.htm

 

http://www.letusreason.org/Current48.htm

 

https://carm.org/clear-word-bible-jesus-michael

 

https://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Seventh-Day%20Adventist/ew-deity.htm

 

        

 

2 Samuel 3-4 - Abner Joins Forces with David

 

Previously in 2 Samuel, we saw the men of Joab and Abner participate in a duel of sorts that quickly degenerated into a blood bath. The battle could have been much worse, but Abner and Joab both agreed to call it off. It was a needless battle that did not need to take any more lives than it already had. There was war a long time between the house of Saul and the house of David, but the house of David became stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker.

While in Hebron, six sons were born to David from six different wives. Again, David was following the common practice of polygamy, but this was against God’s prescribed will for kings as seen in Deuteronomy. At least three of these six sons will not turn out well.

Meanwhile, Abner was strengthening his hold on the house of Saul. There was a concubine of Saul’s named Rizpah, and Ishbosheth, the king, accused Abner of having sexual relations with her. This, also, was a common pagan practice in those days, and was viewed as a transfer of power from one king to the next. If true, Abner would have been guilty of sexual immorality, as well as treason, but we have no evidence that Abner did such a thing. In fact, Abner became very angry, and said that he had been loyal to Saul’s family and friends, had protected him from David, and how was it that he was charging him with such a fault? Abner then said, “May God do so to Abner, and more also, if I do not do for David as the Lord has sworn to him—to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul, and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba.” Abner was indicting himself here: he was admitting he knew the Lord had sworn to give the kingdom to David, while he had been trying to secure a kingdom for the house of Saul. Ishbosheth did not answer Abner because he was afraid of him. Ishbosheth seems to be following in his father’s footsteps somewhat by being suspicious of others. Abner had seen all too much of this from his father, and he probably had had enough.

Next, Abner sent messengers to David asking him to make a covenant with him in order to bring all of Israel to David, and David agreed. He had one condition though, that Abner bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, with him when he came. David sent messengers to Ishbosheth stating to give him his wife whom he had betrothed to himself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines. So, Ishbosheth sent Abner to go get her, and her husband followed her a ways weeping. At a certain point, Abner told him to go home, and he did. This may seem like an odd situation, but Michal rightfully belonged to David. Saul had taken her away from him and given her to be married to someone else when David was on the run from her father. David had literally put his life on the line twice to gain her father’s blessing, once for killing Goliath, and, second, for killing 200 Philistines and bringing their foreskins to Saul.

Abner spoke to the elders of Israel that they, in time past, had sought for David to be king over them. They should do it now, for the Lord had spoken of David, “By the hand of My servant David, I will save My people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and the hand of all their enemies.” We have no record of this exact statement from the Lord, but, again, it was known to Abner and probably to many others. He also spoke to all of the tribe of Benjamin. Then, he and 20 men went to Hebron where David was, and David made a feast for them. David could have been suspicious of Abner and his men, but he responded graciously. Abner had made concessions for peace, and David took him at his word. I’m sure David was not foolish; he probably had enough men there to protect himself if necessary, but his response to Abner was in kindness. Saul had proven he could not be trusted, but Abner needed to be given a chance to prove himself. Abner told David that he would go to gather all Israel to him to make a covenant to make him king over the nation, and David sent him away in peace.

After Abner had left, Joab and the men came back from a raid with a large spoil, and they told Joab what had happened. After this, Joab went to the king, and asked him what he had done and why he had sent Abner away? He told David that Abner had come to deceive him and to spy out what he was doing. Next, Joab sent messengers after Abner to bring him back to Hebron, but David didn’t know it. When Abner arrived, Joab took him aside in the city gate to speak with him privately. As I stated earlier, Hebron was one of the cities of refuge the Lord told Moses to appoint in Numbers 35. It was a place where a manslayer (someone who accidentally killed someone) could flee to be safe from the avenger of blood. They were safe as long as they stayed within the city until the high priest died, in which case they were free to go back to their home. If the avenger of blood killed him while inside the city, the avenger would be guilty of murder. Joab subtly brought Abner outside the city, and stabbed him in the stomach that he died. This was a carefully engineered murder by Joab so that he could take vengeance for the blood of his brother Asahel. The problem with this was that Abner had killed Asahel out of self-defense, something clearly justified in the Scriptures; however, Joab killed Abner in cold blood. In this, we see that Joab was vengeful and had little regard for human life. He also may have been fearful of losing his position as the general of David’s army since Abner had more military experience. Whatever the case, this was murder, and David was not happy about it.

When he found out, he said, “My kingdom and I are guiltless before the Lord forever of the blood of Abner the son of Ner. Let it rest on the head of Joab and on all his father’s house; and let there never fail to be in the house of Joab one who has a discharge or is a leper, who leans on a staff or falls by the sword, or who lacks bread.” We also find out that Joab’s brother, Abishai, assisted in some way in this murder. David told Joab and all his men to tear their clothes, put on sackcloth, and mourn for Abner. They buried Abner in Hebron, and David and all the people wept at his grave. David sang a lament over him, and the people wept over him again. They tried to convince David to eat, but he took an oath, saying, “God do so to me, and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” If we recall from 1 Samuel, Saul had charged the people with an oath that they should not eat until he had vengeance on his enemies, and it led Israel into sin. David, on the other hand, only charged himself with such an oath.  This pleased the people, and they understood that it had not been David’s intent to kill Abner. David said that he was too weak that day to deal with Joab and Abishai, but the Lord would repay them according to their wickedness. Joab would go on to be his general until David’s death. This wouldn’t be the last trouble he caused David, nor would it be the last person Joab offs in his struggle to stay in power. Some may argue David should have dealt with Joab sooner, but killing your own nephews would not have exactly been good for family relations. Joab will eventually get his comeuppance when Solomon would take the throne.

After Ishbosheth heard what had happened, he lost heart, and the whole nation was troubled. Abner was the strongest person in Ishbosheth’s life, and now he was gone. Ishbosheth had two captains of troops, Baanah and Rechab, who were of the tribe of Benjamin. These two came to Ishbosheth’s house during the heat of the day when the king was napping. They came in as though they were coming to get wheat, and stabbed him in the stomach. They beheaded him and escaped through the plain during the night, and came to Hebron. They brought the head of Ishbosheth to David, thinking David would be glad that the son of his enemy, Saul, was dead. However, David responded, “As the Lord lives, who has redeemed my life from all adversity, when someone told me, saying, ‘Look, Saul is dead,’ thinking to have brought good news, I arrested him and had him executed in Ziklag—the one who thought I would give him a reward for his news. How much more, when wicked men have killed a righteous person in his own house on his bed? Therefore, shall I not now require his blood at your hand and remove you from the earth?” It was the Lord that had delivered David from all his adversity, not from him taking matters into his own hands. If he had not been pleased when his enemy was killed, how much more then when a righteous man was killed? In this we can see that David had no intentions of forcing himself to the throne; he was leaving it in the Lord’s hands. The ends never justify the means. Even for a king, it is never right to do the wrong thing to accomplish good. As it has been said, “if someone is willing to sin for you, they will soon be willing to sin against you.” David was also keeping his promise to Jonathan to take care of his family. He was demonstrating a lot of integrity here, and it was going against the cultural practices of the day.

So, David commanded his men to execute them. They cut off their hands and feet, and hung them up by the pool in Hebron. They also took the head of Ishbosheth, and buried it in Abner’s tomb. God could have brought David to the throne without these men killing an innocent man, but He still will use the circumstances and will work them together for His good.

Lastly, we are told of a young boy, the son of Jonathan, who was five years old when Jonathan and Saul died. When his nurse heard the news, she picked him up to flee. As she did so, he fell and became lame. His name was Mephibosheth, and he would have been about 12 years old at this point. We probably are told of him here because he was the next in line to the throne after Ishbosheth’s death, but he would not have been considered a suitable king due to the fact he was lame. We will hear more of him later in 2 Samuel.

In closing, in what ways can we learn from the characters in this chapter? Are we like Ishbosheth who was passive and allowed others to lead when it is really our job? Are we suspicious of others when they are filling the power vacuum in our absence? The right thing for Ishbosheth would have been to lead the nation in giving the kingdom over to David, but he was letting Abner lead the nation in rebellion to the Lord’s will. Even when Abner was doing the right thing, Ishbosheth was still sitting on the side-lines. Whatever position the Lord has us in, it is up to us to do it to the best of our ability, and leave the rest up to God. Maybe we are like David and are facing a situation of whether or not to trust someone with an offer of peace or reconciliation. If at all possible, we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Proceed with caution, but respond to them graciously. Like David, maybe we are tempted to use methods that are acceptable culturally to get what we want, but they are sinful in the eyes of the Lord. The Lord will straighten it all out in the end; we just need to wait on Him. Maybe we are like Joab who was vengeful and willing to mistreat someone if we perceive them as a threat to us. If so, we need to repent and trust the Lord with the outcome. Paul wrote to the Romans, “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Rom 12:19) In the next chapter, the whole nation will come to David in Hebron to anoint him king.

What the Bible Has to Say to Dad's Part III.

 

Previously, we looked at what it means to bring our children up in the admonition of the Lord, and in this post, I want to focus on the training part of Ephesians 6. As I previously stated, training has the idea of teaching through discipline. Although children learn what is expected of them, sometimes they lack the incentive to carry it out, and discipline helps to reinforce these teachings. The Bible has a lot to say about child discipline, and probably the best place to look is in the book of Proverbs.

The first passage I want to look at states, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” (Pro 19:18) Here we see that parents are to discipline their children while there is hope, because the time will come when it is too late to effectively discipline them. The fact that Solomon says to not let our souls spare for his crying implies the major part of this discipline is to take place in their early years. If our children have reached their teenage years, and we have neglected to train and discipline them, we’re in for some major problems. In a lot of cases, it will be too late to have a major influence in changing their behavior. The fact that we are told not to let our souls spare for their crying also tells us that this discipline should not be pleasant. Whatever the discipline, it should cost the child something. Many parents neglect to discipline their children because it causes them to cry or be upset, and no doubt many children have learned to manipulate their parents to avoid this discipline. However, this is exactly what they need.

The next question that arises is, what type of discipline does the Bible teach? Proverbs again states, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Pro 22:15) Any of us who have had children know that they do not have to be taught to sin; it comes naturally. This is because they are born with a sin nature just like you and me. We were all born foolish, and it takes the Lord and our parents’ loving discipline to drive it from us. The means by which the Lord has chosen to drive foolishness from children is a spanking, and the instrument He has prescribed is the rod.

Let’s start by defining spanking.  Spanking is the act of striking a child on the buttocks with the open hand or a rod of some sorts.  The rear-end is the best place since it is well-padded, and if administered properly, the spanking will not bruise or otherwise injure the child. My own state of Washington defines what is considered child abuse, and I have to say, I actually agree with them for a change. The pain inflicted cannot be greater than transient pain or temporary marks. Contrary to popular belief, there is no mention in the law of the forbidding of the use of a rod. Modern psychology tells us that spanking is harmful to a child, and can cause them to have mental and emotional instability.  Make no mistake, child abuse does happen, and it is both wrong and harmful to children.  However, the Lord is a loving heavenly Father, and if He says spanking is necessary, then it is not child abuse regardless of what modern psychology or anyone else says on the subject.

This brings us then to what the Scriptures mean by the rod.  The word for rod here refers to a wooden stick that was used for varying purposes such as chastening, for measuring, a shepherd’s crook, or even a king’s scepter. The size of the rod also varied depending on its use, so context is crucial in determining the correct meaning. The Hebrew definition refers to a scion, which is a shoot or twig.  This would be a one-year-old sucker from a tree that is roughly the size of a pencil. In other words, a good old-fashioned switch. Similar items such as a ruler or wooden spoon would also be an appropriate instrument to use. Again, the idea is to cause temporary pain for a child as a deterrent for that behavior in the future, but not to injure them or leave lasting marks. This would be in line with how a loving parent should discipline a child as taught throughout the rest of the Scriptures. The Scriptures do not forbid the use of our hands in spanking, but in every instance that corporal discipline is mentioned in the Bible it refers to the use of a rod. I think the main reason for this is that our hands are meant to show love and affection, as well as protection. This also helps ensure the discipline is more methodical rather than just a knee jerk reaction of spanking the child for something they have done. There are always those times when a child needs corporal discipline when a rod is not available, but from the Scriptures we can see that the use of the rod is to be the norm. It should not be excessive, but only enough to get the point across. The spanking is not appropriate for every type of bad behavior, but the Scriptures give us guidance on this as well.

Next, we see that a spanking is not for every type of inappropriate behavior, but for foolishness: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.” It is for stubborn and defiant behavior. The child must know it is wrong, and has chosen against his or her parent’s wishes to do it anyway. If he or she has never been taught, then a spanking is not appropriate because proper instruction has not taken place. It is also not for childhood immaturity or impulsive behavior (as frustrating as that can be at times). For example, a boy throwing a ball in the house and breaking something valuable would be considered inappropriate behavior, but it is not a spank-able offense. In this case it would be better to use some other sort of discipline to correct the behavior. The exception to this would be behavior that is too dangerous for the child to repeat, such as running out into the street. I remember when my oldest son was little: we went for a walk in which he decided, for no apparent reason, to jump off the sidewalk, and began running in the street. Thankfully there were no cars coming, but I gave him a swat on his behind and told him to stay on the sidewalk.

There are a few other sins that, in my opinion, fall into this category of foolish behavior. One is lying, especially when done out of self-preservation. Lying was the devil’s tactic to tempt Eve and Adam into sin, and, according to Jesus, it is his nature. I have seen it do a lot of damage in relationships: it breaks down trust, and demonstrates that individual that created the offense is not really repentant. It also leaves us out of fellowship with the Lord, as we are unwilling to admit our own sins. One of the things my dad instilled in my sister and I is that, if we told the truth, we would get in a lot less trouble. If we lied about it, it was almost always a spanking. This is a principle my wife and I have passed onto our children. We want to encourage them to tell us the truth no matter what, and if they know they will get in the same amount of trouble regardless, they will be more apt to hide it from us. On occasion, the act may be serious enough to require a spanking, kind of like the dad who pulled his five sons aside, and said, “alright, I want to know which one of you boys pushed the outhouse over the edge of the ravine into the creek.” There was a pause, and then Billy, his youngest son, spoke up and said, “Pa, just like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie, it was me.” His dad said, “Ok, son, go find yourself a switch.” Billy protested, “But, Pa, when George Washington cut down the cherry tree and told the truth, his dad didn’t punish him.” His dad responded, “Well, son, George Washington’s father wasn’t in the cherry tree when he cut it down.”

The other sin that I believe warrants a spanking is complaining and arguing. I lump them together because if you do one, you are really doing both. My reasoning for including this in foolish behavior is because it got the children of Israel in a lot of trouble in their wilderness wanderings. Traveling around in the desert in 120+ degree temperatures would have been rough, rougher than any of us have it, but the Lord still didn’t tolerate their murmurings. Complaining and arguing have both spiritual and natural consequences that are experienced by children and adults alike. I believe we need to hear our children out when they come to us with concerns or questions, but in the moment they are asked to do something, they should be trained to do it without complaining or arguing.

So, what about behavior that is not foolish? For those behaviors that are simply done out of immaturity or not knowing better, the Scriptures do not have a lot to say. In those instances, I believe it is up to us as parents to come up with creative ways to instill in our kids the behavior is not appropriate.

Spanking, like all other forms of discipline, is not to be done in anger. Proverbs again states, “He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow, and the rod of his anger will fail.” (Pro 22:8) So when you or I discipline our children in anger (spanking in particular), the Bible says that we are sinning, and the discipline will fail. At this point we have lost sight of the point of the discipline, and it has really become more self-serving rather than for the good of the child. Our children are able to perceive this, and it hardens their hearts toward us and can provoke them to anger. As men we are generally more prone to be impatient and short-tempered, but we need to remember we are representing the Lord to our children. When we are impatient and short-tempered, our children naturally begin to view their heavenly Father in the same way, and this can be a difficult obstacle for them to overcome. When I was a child, my parents used to send us to our rooms for a while before they administered whatever discipline they thought necessary, and now that I am a parent I understand why. It allows the child time to think about what he or she has done, and it gives us time as parents to cool down if necessary and rationally consider the proper discipline. I’m sure my parents wanted to throttle me at times, but by the time they administered any discipline, I rarely recall them being angry. Also, pray for wisdom. There have been a few occasions when I was not sure what type of discipline to administer, and after praying about it, it became clear to me what to do.

There are just a few additional Scriptures I want to share from Proverbs that deal with this topic. The first is in Proverbs 23. It states, “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” (V 13-14) We are told to not withhold correction from our children, for it is not going to kill them. Oh, they may act like it’s going to, but the truth is it is quite the opposite. It even goes as far as to say when we beat (more accurately to strike) them with the rod it will deliver their soul from Hell. This passage should settle the debate on whether or not the rod is literal. “How does it deliver their soul from Hell,” you might ask? By disciplining our children, we are instilling in them the concepts of right and wrong and that there are consequences for our actions. Instilling in them this sense of right and wrong keeps their heart soft and allows the Holy Spirit room to bring conviction over their sin and their need for Jesus Christ. When we reject this part of God’s Word, we are potentially delaying our child’s receiving the Gospel, if not altogether. Back in chapter 13 Solomon wrote, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” (V 24) We may think we are loving our children by sparing them this type of discipline, but the Lord is actually saying we hate them. We hate them because we refuse to provide the correct deterrent for the foolish behavior that could bring them both physical and spiritual harm or destruction. The word “betimes” means immediately and consistently. It is important, particularly when the child is young, to administer the appropriate discipline immediately following the behavior. This ensures the child remembers what they have done and associates the discipline with the behavior. Consistency is also important so that the child knows what to expect each time they repeat the same offense.  In contrast, the Lord says through Solomon, “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”  When we correct our children the way the Bible instructs us, it gives us rest and we can delight in them.  We can eliminate so many problems that will cause us and them worry, pain and heartache, and just enjoy them for who God has called them to be.  They will not be perfect; for none of us are, but hopefully we can train them so most of that foolish behavior is trained out of them while they are young and the consequences are much less severe.

If you are a parent who has really blown it in raising your children, it is never truly hopeless when you have the Lord. A couple of months ago, I spoke with a man at Church who gave his testimony of how he came to the Lord. He was a raging alcoholic who had been in and out of marriages, and had had children from various relationships. After he and his wife came to the Lord, they gave up alcohol, and one by one their children (including those from other partners began getting saved. I do not recall exactly, but most, if not all of them, have come to know Jesus Christ. God is faithful, folks! When we get right with Him through faith and repentance, there is no limit to what He can and may do for your children.

 

Additional Resources

 

How and How Not to Spank a Child (One of the best messages my wife and I have heard on the subject)

Children and the Rod of Correction

The Dr. James Dobson Parenting Collection